Act I; Scene 3
Destination Earth with Detours

In this scene, you'll find the following additions to our character listing:

Classmates #27-#30 - fill in names of your classmates
The following have exited from our character listing in Scene 3 of Act 1:
The Tires, 6 in all if you figured it out correctly. Were they tires or weren't they? (It was indeed a very, very sad exit.)

Setting: Please set the setting for Scene 3. GC says to use any of the previous hints for creation of the correct scenery.

Curtain: (seated and getting up) The lovely curtain rises on Scene 3 of Act 1. This is, you should know, the very last and final scene in Act I.

GC: This entire play is getting dull and duller. My giant brain can't abide all this nonsense. I hate cheeseburgers. Bring me a (fill in).

Classmate #2: (eating) Yes, I understand. My brain is similar. I have gray cells to spare.

GC: (moans and rolls eyes at audience.)

Classmate #5: (not eating, looking Martian green or red) I think I'm getting sick.

GC: (moans again.)

Classmate #11: (eating) It's time for my birthday party.

GC: (groans)

Teacher: To calm nerves, I'll tell you a story of a little rock that once was dustless. GC Hint< http://eis.jpl.nasa.gov/~skientz/little_rock/>. Follow along with me, students, on the World Wide Web. Keep in mind that I may call on you to read at any time. A good student is a prepared student, I always say. A poor student is an unprepared student, I always say. People quote me often on these findings.

Classmate #27: I see the planets coming onscreen. Can you get them up better for us, Classmate #28?

Classmate #28: Hold on. Yes, they are coming into view. I see (show each planet on screen, and therefore, say this same sentence 9 times while showing enlarged images-if time and patience permit). GC Hint<http://seds.lpl.arizona.edu/nineplanets/nineplanets/express.html>.

Classmate #27: Did you hear the sound of the planets on the Internet?

Teacher: Now that we've examined the planets to some extent with our fly-by, a look at the sun is in order. It's almost time for a solar eclipse.

Classmate #29: I see it ahead. The sun is about to be covered because of the location of our space vessel and (fill in). I'd like to take a closer look at the eclipse. Head on, GC. It looks like (fill in) GC Hint<http://www.hao.ucar.edu/public/education/slides/slides.html>.

Classmate #30: Sunspot ahead. Look at this (show it)! GC Hint<http://www.hao.ucar.edu/public/education/slides/slide3.html>

Teacher:: How does the size of this sunspot compare to the size of the Earth, Classmate #30?

Classmate #30: (answers question)

Teacher: Now, what are the penumbra and the umbra of a sunspot, Classmate # 29?

Classmate #29: (answers question)

GC: We are heading back to our home planet now. Take a look here. (add the earth to the screen) GC Hint<http://seds.lpl.arizona.edu/nineplanets/nineplanets/earth.html> . Can you tell me Classmate #16, what is the only non-Greek-non-Roman-non-myth-related planet name?

Classmate #16: That's simple. It's (hesitates) er, ah, yes, I think, I know, it's (answers question)!

Teacher: See if you, Classmate #11, can tell me where these places are: Pamint, Tero, Aarde, Erde, Jorden, Jorda, Jeegoo, Chikyu, Dieqao, Zemia, Gea, Ddaear, Yer, Ground, Mundo, and Ard? GC Hint<http://seds.lpl.arizona.edu/nineplanets/nineplanets/days.html>.

GC: (to audience) Personally, I prefer MAA.

Classmate #11: I wonder how old I'd be on Erde or Arde? Would they have cheeseburgers to serve at my birthday parties? I am so hungry and old or young. Now, when I get back on Earth, will I lose a year and be younger than I am? If we've traveled all the way to the sun almost, that should make a big difference in our calculations, wouldn't it? If we could go faster than sound and light and time, then (fill in with your ideas).

Teacher: (gives "you'd better not do that again" teacher stare)

Classmate #11: That is NOT the answer

Classmate #12: Bong!

GC: Hold on for landing and significant bouncing or linear line noise. Sorry, folks, a little calculation blunder. We're headed right for the-the-the-Washington Monument.

Everyone: Ut Oh!

Curtain: (gliding gracefully across the stage or room, with abundant pizzazz, however) The curtain is about to come down. But first, I want you to appreciate my fine design together with my graceful curtain movement along with the pinnacle, the acme of the Washington Monument which may be viewed (with emphasis) RATHER clearly in about a second. Now, I shall fall for the last time in Act I, but not in Washington D.C. (falls).

Return to The Great Computer Cheeseburger Play Intro